What happens when we don’t love ME? Perhaps you may feel broken, lost, reactive, or out of control. When we fall out of love with ourselves our defenses will be high, so well be more reactive than responsive and unable to navigate the complexity of life and relationships. Responsiveness happens when we are able to develop emotional intelligence rather than defaulting to the more primal and seemingly involuntary reactions to stimuli. This can create emotional distress and negative consequences such as depressed mood, anxiety, fear, anger, and this can get out of control and create chaos or emptiness in our life.
What’s the first step to starting a love affair with ME? (Self-awareness: what are your emotional snakes and ladders) Get to know yourself. Many of us make assumptions about our most cherished person, ME, but really and truly we know nothing at all about our core self, just the reflection of who we think we should be. Instead take the time, take as long as you want, and really dig deep and discover who you are. Snakes are our negative triggers and ladders are our positive triggers. So a snake may be criticism whereby we would react with defensiveness or insecurity. A ladder may be a compliment which creates a feeling of pride or accomplishment that encourages us to push ahead.
What is self-empathy? (Self-acceptance, compassion, etc…) There’s a difference between conditional love and unconditional love. If you look up happiness in the dictionary it distinguishes between happiness, contentment, and bliss. Happiness is actually defined by having something external that gives us a feeling of joy. Contentment is closer to acceptance and long term peacefulness. Bliss is closest to euphoria, although I attribute a sense of being grounded to bliss as well. So the self-love that we are talking about today is self-acceptance, committing to accepting imperfection and feeling contented about that. Give yourself permission to be flawed!
Why is it beneficial to love myself and others? For finding your life’s harmony!
Nurture a connection with yourself first. This means in love, in life, in god, just do it. This creates your foundation from which everything flows. It’s our anchor or grounding, our boundary system. It’s not just the values or beliefs we are taught, but what is at our core. It’s our heart, our soul, our intuition that guides us through anything. And it’s all we really need. It keeps us steady no matter through the trails of life.
Tools: meditation, gratitude, prayer. Affirm positivity over and over again, make it a ritual.
Copyright © 2014 Dr. Taylor Burrowes
Inspired by: wellness, purpose, fulfillment, peace & love