Dear Joan Letter to Feminism

I’m MAD that you took away my right to choose what I wanted AS A WOMAN. I’m angry that you took things too far when you pushed me out of my natural nurturing role and into a man’s world. The expectation to strive and succeed amongst men killed my femininity, thank you FEMINISM!

Why did you have to go and steal my hopes and dreams from me? You’re selfish and never cared enough about what I really wanted to even ask me first. Maybe I didn’t want to spend 18 years in post-grad school when I would have rather been prioritizing prospects for finding a good partner.

I would’ve never let you swindle me out of my prime years in the name of PROGRESS. I would rather have used my god-given gifts on what is truly important to me.

My PhD can’t defend me in an attack or keep me safe from harm. It doesn’t even guarantee that I’ll be financially robust

Sure, it’s impressive to OTHER WOMEN in the game of competition, but what the heck are we competing for?

Men don’t care that I have a PhD, in fact, it limits my options in the dating pool. It’s like height, I’m tall – so average height men are mainly out of the market for me.

I can’t pair with a man beneath me, literally and figuratively. You forgot to discuss this temper tantrum you had decades ago with your older sister HYPERGAMY.

If you had, she would have put you in your place long time ago. But you had to go rogue and try to prove your point.

I just can’t believe I let you manipulate me into neglecting my feminine ideals & self-sabotaging to the point that I may have set myself up for being alone without any family of my own; all while I help other people find and keep their happy lives with their partners and families going.

I know somewhere along the way you probably thought you were right for doing what you did, but I need you to stop and reconsider things now.

I can’t go back and redo my twenties or even go back to puberty and start my socialization over so that I understand male/female dynamics REALISTICALLY

My life may be irreversible and I’ll have to make peace with the consequences of what you did. However, I know you’re still out there doing this to other people.

I’m just asking you to stop for the sake of LOVE and FAMILY VALUES. Let WOMEN be WOMEN again and for goodness sake LET MEN BE MEN!!!

If there’s anything I can say to appeal to your senses, this is it: THANK YOU for showing me I am powerful & smart when I need to be. I will take that with me. It’s just not the WHOLE STORY. I need to RESPECT HONOR & ADMIRE a partner.

This is what I needed to learn:

  1. Men are awesome creatures when they are at their best and I need one in my life to love and keep me safe and ensure a healthy and happy home and life.
  2. Find a man that inspires your whole being so that even when you disagree, you defer to his leadership.
  3. There is no need to rebel against his leadership if you choose wisely. When you do, know that “the ship has sailed” and you with be on course for a lifetime of adventure together. You can strategize our teamwork to plan according to all the challenges at sea, but we must not waver.
  4. Being feminine is everything. denying our BEAUTY is a sin on humanity. Embrace and celebrate your inner and outer sensual essence by being graceful, selective, kind, joyful, warm, loving & intuitive. You can do so without being weak or meek or insignificant.
  5. I was put on this earth to LOVE and to HEAL and to HELP and SUPPORT someone, my someone! There’s is no PROGRESS without leadership, there is no leadership without followership, there is no HOME without a healthy system to guide & protect it and there is no love without a HOME.

Enough FEMINISM, you have done enough damage…

You’ve proven your twisted point. If you carry on any further you are going to DESTROY life & love as we (used to) know it.

Women will rule the world with subservient masses of weak men. THEN WHAT? Will you stop then? Will you be happy when you look around at the mess you’ve created and smile? I don’t think so! I think you’ll wail like you’ve never felt sadness and despair before once you understand what you’ve “created.”

The destruction will be catastrophic and it’s already begun. But it’s not too late, for our future even if it’s too late for some. So, I beg you FEMINISM:

Enough! You’ve had your run, let go of the death grip on “EQUALITY” and listen to your inner voice I know you still have it. You don’t have to fight anymore. I’m sorry if you’re hurt by my leaving…

But, I’m done.

All the best,

The generations of women from whom you squandered youth and Femininity for too long


I am a professional Counselor, Online Coach, & Corporate Consultant. I want to help women be the best women they can be and men be the best men they can be; ultimately finding a way to be happy and healthy together.

I have started collecting responses to a questionnaire on women’s perceptions of Femininity, I will present a summary and narrative of results with sufficient data. If you can please complete the brief survey here.

Photo By Goldmund Unleashed Visit his website

If you’d like the Spanish translation for this piece, click here, thanks to Alejandra Arellano.

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